Referral!!!!

I spent a minute here trying to think of what I should make the title of this post, but the obvious is REFERRAL!!! We have waited almost 4 years to write and shout that news!!!! Our whole family is so thrilled to announce that we has been so very blessed with a referral of 2 precious brothers from Ethiopia aged 4 and 6 (when they come home). We are already in love and I keep looking at their pictures in amazement and excitement that we actually get to love and add these sweet boys to our family. Their eyes and smiles are so beautiful!

Just a few posts ago, on Christmas Eve, I referenced moments where we show up at one place and end up at a place even more beautiful than expected. God placed a burning desire in our hearts long ago to add to our family by adoption and we showed up but He wrote the story. We are giving so much praise to Him for writing this story more beautiful than we could have even imagined. There have been many, many (hate to admit this!) times during this journey that I tried to take it over, to beg and plead that NOW was the time, that a particular place was the place. I am so glad that I am not the author of my story.

Over the next 6 months or so we need your prayers and support. Major prayers that our boys are healthy, safe and happy while they wait for us. Please also pray for our (especially Melissa ha ha!!!) emotional well being while we wait to be united with them. I always thought the hardest part of the journey was waiting for our referral, but if the past 10 days were any indication, the hardest part may be ahead. It is a strange feeling that part of our family is many, many miles away and we can't tell them that we love them and that we will be coming as soon as possible, we can't tell them that their future is so bright and that they have the most kind hearted sister and brother waiting for them here, waiting to play with them and show them so much. We respect the steps that both governments require us to go through next and will try to calmly fill out the mountain of paperwork and smile. Since I completely trust our agency, I have decided on a somewhat radical change to remove myself from facebook and most social media until we bring the boys home. I need my mind to be filled with God's spirit and hope and not with fear. I will know any facts I need to know and will be busy planning for our family of six. I will miss the support and camaraderie with fellow adopting moms and will miss celebrating with them when they get a referral or meet their children. I know I will still be e-mailing with some, enjoying their blog updates and this is just a short, temporary break. I had convinced myself that it was smart to be informed on everything, but my little heart literally cannot handle the way it felt when I heard about the rumors and negativity last month, especially not now when I am attached to our boys. I also cannot wait to dive into some books and devotionals I have been putting aside. I am counting on forming a positive habit I needed in my life anyway.

Thank you for sharing in our joy and we will continue with updates. More details to come about travel plans (2 trips ahead). We are super excited to travel and experience the culture of Ethiopia!

MELISSA

Scared to Stand Up

#20! Pretty cool! It was be a lot cooler if the past week hadn't been like riding a wave. I am going to use an analogy here from my husband's favorite sport. I have tried surfing only a couple of times, including the day we got engaged (that was in January in a full wet suit!). Each time I try, even this past summer, I mostly stay on my knees, scared to stand up. You see, if I stand up, I feel like I have lost control and the board is going to slip right out from under me, sending me face down in the water.

Our adoption has been just like this for me. When we first decided to adopt from Colombia, I was cautiously excited. There were some minor set backs and adjustments in waiting time, but as we got further into the process, I started to gain more confidence and felt comfortable letting go. Through 2 years of waiting for a referral, I rode that wave gaining faith and trust. When, due to in-country law changes, we had a huge wipe out and I was completely crushed. I still felt God had me in a better place than when we started, but everything was so hard and a wall was built around my heart.

Although that wall is still up, it has been exciting with Ethiopia and I have felt a peace about it. That is, until about a week ago...our first big challenge with Ethiopia. I don't want to further exacerbate potential rumors, so I will only say that there are discussions in Ethiopia about orphan care options and this can mean many things, some negative for all parties and some positive. Obviously negative changes would include stopping foreign adoption. I am 110% for any positive reforms that could be made in Ethiopia to keep families together. But, every child deserves a loving family now. Adoption, foreign or domestic, is an excellent loving option. Keeping orphans in orphanages or in long term care situations that are unhealthy is not an option. There are waiting families available right now to love and care for these children. I am aware that there is abuse in the adoption process and I am very supportive of changes that can mitigate this and for changes that ultimately keep children in their country of birth in loving care. I am praying for that answer. Not extreme, fast, changes that hurt in the short and long run a lot of people, especially the children we are trying to protect.

So, it has been a long week with the familiar ache and worry. I pray that God will fill that hole and prayers are super appreciated. Primarily big prayers for Ethiopian officials making these important decisions. And some small prayers for a Mom who is scared to stand up again.

P.S. That furry cutie in the picture is an addition that joined us in November. She was named after this journey - Addis :)

MELISSA