What a Trip

Wow, so it is almost time to leave already, we have been here 9 days. I have been bad about blogging because at the end of the night, after our kids are in bed, I just sink into the couch. It has been a wonderful trip, an emotional one for sure. There are the obvious emotions regarding adoption and finally seeing and holding the children we accepted into our hearts long ago, but there are the other emotions that are much tougher than I thought. We have travelled before to countries before where English is not the primary language and to where the culture is vastly different than our own. However, one huge difference this trip: our son and daughter that we brought with us. I have been on guard every single second for their safety and wellbeing. Normally, I would enjoy taking in the sights more and smiling at the people, but I have had an emotional and physical grip on our kids the whole time. The Ethiopian people have been nothing but generous and welcoming to us (OK so there was one attempted pick-pocket on my husband but he ended up scaring the guy way more than we were), so I know that my worry and overprotectiveness have been unnecessary, but I can't help it. There are so many sights and sounds that they are processing this trip and they have been been amazing with hardly a whine or complaint.

A good example of no complaining is how our daughter acted the day we appeared in court the day after we met our boys. She started throwing up in the car ON THE WAY to court. She probably threw up 3 times at least. This is the day after our son threw up in the University Museum. We pulled up to the courthouse and gave her a napkin, she wiped her mouth and we walked in. Within 30 minutes, we were appearing in front of a judge and declared our love and willingness to adopt our boys. They both answered the questions they were asked with smiles and were perfect, just like appearing in front of an Ethiopian judge is something we do everyday! What an emotional time for a lot of reasons. Here is a picture of right after:

After court, we were in the car for about 2 hours and the sickness continued until we got back to the hotel with meds. Again, not sure if she was sick or it was just the car motions and roads. Yesterday, we finally figured out that Star Wars on the portable DVD player in the car is the way to keep their minds off the motion sickness. Their little heads will literally be bouncing up and down with their eyes fixed on Darth Vader. The night of court, we celebrated with a dinner at a restaurant with traditional food, music and dancing. Again, I am realizing just how rich in culture Ethiopia is. The next day, we took a plane to the birth city of our boys and took a tour of their original orphanage. The next evening, our host graciously entertained us and 2 other couples in his home and we ate traditional food and learned more about Ethiopia and each other.

The definite highlight of our trip has been the 5 visits with our boys. Each one has been a little over 2 hours. My heart has skipped a beat each time we walked through the gate and watched the children approach us, my eyes searching for either of the 2 boys that are now our own. Each time we have been greeted with a sweet smile and hug from each, them already recognizing and comfortable with the four of us. The first few moments are usually spent with lots of gestures and greetings and then we have gotten to the point each visit where we can sit and watch them play with their friends. They have a merry-go-around and today we watched our daughter push 6 children in it and then each of those children get out and push their friends and her. Most of the time, she fit her very tall body in a very small chair with our new younger son in her lap and held him tight. They were the best of friends today, the first of many days. We watched our sons play soccer and were amazed at how all the kids just kicked the ball around laughing and sometimes falling down hard, only to get up and keep playing. There are other children of varying ages so it has been amazing to watch how they all take care of each other. I have fallen in love with some of the other children too and know how lucky their waiting parents are that they will soon be together too. We have talked to the nannies about our children and got some essential information about their habits and personalities (how blessed we are by what we already know!). We will use this information to make them more comfortable and make the adjustment easier.

Today is my husband's birthday and he had a wonderful surprise today at the boy's home where our host arranged a party for him, complete with ALL of the children and staff signing and clapping happy birthday to him and some excellent cake and a coffee ceremony. The furniture was even re-arranged so that everyone could participate. So amazing! It was so thoughtful and we will never forget how they wanted him to feel special and loved while he was away from home. Leaving today was difficult and saying goodbye for now is sad, but we will be back soon and have them in our arms forever. I know they are safe and happy until then. More prayer will be needed for my heart to be still in the Lord while we wait to return.

MELISSA

Here's a link to a video we made:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3UuSX3QCxk&feature=youtube_gdata

First Meeting

Today was amazing! I am feeling so very tired after this amazing long day but am so happy! We started off by taking a bumpy car ride to the National Museum. I enjoyed this ride because we got to see a lot of Addis Ababa and the local neighborhoods and people. Downside was that it was so bumpy and the fumes were strong. Our kids said they felt bad from the ride. Well....about 5 minutes into the National Museum tour, our son threw up, no notice. Our driver is the kindest guy you could ever meet and immediately helped. We took him outside and some ladies were so worried about him too and making sure he was ok. We quickly finished that tour sans Mike and him and then went to the National Museum where our driver stayed and let him sleep on him while we looked around. It was very cool and nice to learn more history about where our boys are from. Ethiopia is so rich in history.

We were due to meet the boys at 2pm and we get back to our hotel at 1:30pm after another ride and our poor son again felt bad from the van. We decided to administer one of the 10 or so prescriptions we brought with us in case he was ill from the food or water. After a short rest, we were back in the van!

I didn't think I was going to cry but when we pulled on the street and another couple in the car said "here we are and here's the gate," I lost it for a few minutes. To be in the courtyard where they play and just steps from them really hit me hard. We were ushered into the house and the four of us sat on a couch staring at the doorway. Well....in the door pop these two beautiful, wide-eyed boys and their nannies and I don't know how long that moment lasted (felt like two minutes, but probably was like two seconds) but the four of us stared at each other and then we opened our arms and they came (or were maybe pushed, I don't know!) and stood by us and we gave them fives and smiles and hugs and were just talking a hundred miles a minute. Within just a few minutes, they were smiling and laughing and in our laps. Seriously, the rest of the few hours we were there were that amazing, our boys were so comfortable and reaching out for us and playing with us.

We opened their backpacks. B laughed so hard at a Clifford book and both boys enjoyed looking at every page of their new photo albums. When they saw us in the book, they would point at us in the picture and then at our chests. They would point at their brother and themselves too saying their names. Their voices are so sweet and I love to hear them talk in their language. Our daughter was so amazing with all of the children and so gentle with her new brothers, it is so obvious she loves them so much. Our son put on such a brave face even though he didn't feel great and did his best to interact with them. The boys clearly already know who their new sister and brother are and B patted our son while he was laying down on the couch and then handed him his new stuffed dog from his backpack (something no other kids were allowed to touch!).

We got to tour where they live and meet all of their sweet friends and caretakers. We gave a couple care packages from other waiting families and got to see the first meeting for the other couple with us too which was beautiful. We got to be part of a coffee ceremony for a couple taking their son home today which was also very special. His caretakers were so emotional when he was leaving, it is so obvious they fall in love with these children. Very special place and very special boys!

So, thanking God for today and looking forward to so much more! Here are a couple of quick pics before logging off! Thank you again friends for following along with prayers! MELISSA

In Ethiopia!

It has been a whirlwind of wonderful news, packing and a lot of anticipation the past few weeks since my last post. We received our letter of consent, were assigned a court date and have arrived in Ethiopia.

We want to use this blog to keep family and friends updated while we wait and travel and for our boys to have history written down for the future. So....now that we are here (wow!!) I am going to try to post pictures and quick (not super thought provoking and deep!) posts of our trips. It is rainy season, so we have had some free time today to relax (thank goodness for bringing the kids each a large ziploc of legos!).

This morning we arrived in Addis Ababa after spending the night in DC and then flying 13 hours straight. Look at these smiling faces in the airport VISA line after sleeping barely a few hours! What troopers!

We spent the day unpacking in the hotel room, walking around near our hotel and getting to know a sweet couple that is adopting through our agency as well. Here are some pictures from our balcony and near our hotel.

Tonight our agency took us to a local coffee shop with wonderful (very small but a perfect amount and so delightful..Starbucks could learn from this) coffee and hot chocolate for kids. We went to a small Italian dinner place after with the new couple we met. Kids were completely asleep by 8:30 tonight. We can only hope they are on the new time zone now!

TOMORROW is a huge day as we finally get to lay eyes on and hug our boys! They were told about us specifically last week (we sent a photo album a few months back but don't know if they had an understanding until now). I have no expectations (or at least when they pop in my head I quickly get them out!) of our first meeting and am praying that I can take off any selfishness I have and be completely selfless when playing with them this week. These hours this week are all about them and letting them know they are already loved by us and will be safe and moving to their forever home together. I am sure many emotions will be running through my head and I want to push those back until later and give our boys what they need in those moments. Good news is that I am sure they will want to play with their new sister and brother too and I will get to sit back and watch that take place. I will be taking a ton of pictures tomorrow of course and will be able to post them hopefully later in the week. We are waiting until we are allowed to post them in public.

We appreciate your prayers and love and in the meantime....these backpacks are waiting to be loved by two beautiful boys

MELISSA

PAIR!

For the past couple of days I have been running to the mailbox eagerly opening it hoping to find our PAIR letter. Today was the day! I threw the other mail aside knowing what was in the piece with the return address of US Department of Homeland Security. This is a huge step. The US is giving their approval to immigrate the boys. This approval came after a lengthy proces and we could not be happier to know the US is on board with our adoption. To give you just a small idea of what was involved in getting this letter, our documents for this were filed on January 21, 2014. Over five months ago. I won't go into the RFEs, interviews, e-mails....I am just comforted to know to know that a very thorough investigation was done and we are not adopting children that already have a family. We could not have gotten this letter without our agency that guided us through these past few months and made sure the process kept moving even when some of us (me!) felt completely overwhelmed with it. And especially not without a very special person half way accross the world that knows these boys and wants what is best for their future.

Next step? We need a letter of consent from Ministry of Women Children and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA) in Ethiopia. Once this is issued we can be submitted for a court date that we will attend AND we get to meet and hug our boys! We are praying hard that we get this letter soon. It could be issued this week or not for a few months. The Ethiopian courts close for a few months starting in mid-August, so for us to be able to meet our boys before the end of October, we need this letter in the upcoming weeks. A lot of policy and document requirement changes were made around the time of our referral, thus affecting how quickly these letters are issued. Please pray with us that this comes soon so we can travel!

Since I want this blog to not only update our supportive friends and family, but I want it to document our feelings throughout this process, I will end with a story of how God continues to work in our lives and sharpen us for what is ahead. I was in need of a MAJOR attitude adjustment a few nights ago. I have been bogged down with fear about these last steps ahead and struggling with having my expectations broken during this whole process. I am not just referring to our timeline since our referral on January 8, but to the past 4 years in our adoption journey. I am like a broken record about these 4 years, but I have trouble keeping hope alive sometimes in light of the disappointments. Well....my husband happened to be the perfect person to set me straight. He reminded me what we are hoping for. Not only hoping and staying strong for these beautiful boys but for our current children. Showing them what hope is all about and giving them an example to live by. He reminded me of the good (awesome) things that have happened the past few months (and we have one more to add to our list tonight!). God's light shined through him as he lovingly reminded me that no matter what timeline we want to be on, take time to celebrate the small accomplishments and wonderful things along the way, even when we are praying for something we have not yet finished, take time to love and enjoy what and who is around us and most important we should never lose hope. It always shines within us...Keep hoping boys, your family is one step closer!

MELISSA

Don't Worry

Can't believe it has been 3 1/2 months since we first laid eyes on our boys! Time cannot go by fast enough right now! Sure, we have a lot to get ready and both governments must go through their processes, but I can't help but whine and complain about this wait. We are hopeful that we will travel sometime for our first trip in the next 2-3 months. Our second trip will most likely be only a month later, so we hope to have our full family united by the end of the summer!

During a continued time of delay, changes and improvements in the adoption process in Ethiopia, a lot of progress has still been made on our case and we are particularly thankful that we passed our first court date in Ethiopia back in March (we did not attend this one, but will the next). That was a day our family won't soon forget. The weekend before, as we prayed hard and looked forward to the upcoming good news on our case, our 5 month old puppy, whom we had named Addis, ingested part of a sago palm plant that, unknown to us at the time, is extremely poisonous to dogs and she stayed overnight at the ER vet. On Monday morning, about 10am, we got the super awesome e-mail stating that the court date went well in Ethiopia and at 1015am, we got a call from our vet saying we had to put our puppy to sleep, that her liver was failing and she was dying. Anyone would find this a sad accident, but let me add a quick history on this special pup. The kids and I had been working on Michael for almost a year for a puppy, clearly lining out all the wonderful reasons why a puppy would benefit our family. He finally relented last September agreeing that training and adjusting a puppy before our adoption was final would be ideal. We decided to name her after the Ethiopian capital, since she was a symbol of our journey and would be growing up right next to the child(ren) we were adopting. She was beautiful and amazing. She was so full of love and was a constant companion to Melissa during some adoption ups and downs in December and after our referral. She was the first pet our kids lost and it hurt our hearts badly to see each other and our kids go through so much sadness and happiness in one day. She was with us only a short time, but for an important reason and she taught us a lot. We are (most likely!!) going to wait to introduce a new furry member to our family until after our boys come home and let them be a part of it. In the meantime, we will give our 11 year old faithful dog lots of extra love (and will keep showing Michael pictures of rescue dogs just in case!!).

Back to progress....there has surely been a lot of progress on me as a person, wife, parent.....A few different friends have mentioned the book of James to me lately, so I decided to read this book of the Bible I wasn't super familiar with (didn't even know it was only 5 chapters). Of course, I have seen on many blogs and shirts the familiar adoption verse from James 1:27, but I was eager to read the rest. Boy, is this the perfect book for me! Perfect in Word and timing! Because I need to refer to these truths ALL THE TIME, here are a couple of things I will hold onto:

JOY during times of testing: James 1:2-4 My brothers, reckon it all joy whenever you become involved in all kinds of testings, for you are well aware that the testing of your faith produces unswerving constancy. And let constancy go on to work out its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, deficient in nothing. I have been tested so many times during this adoption journey. Tested while waiting for a referral, tested while making the decision to adopt from a different country, tested while riding the roller coaster of ups and downs in the process. The list goes on of how many disappointments that (still) seek to take my faith away, yet I need to have joy through all of these, as each and every test is not meant to make me fall, but to make me soar. Instead of being weaker when this adoption journey is done, we will all be stronger. Thank you Lord for these tests so I can be a better mom to all of my children. Especially to these 2 boys who have gone through many sorrows.

Dependence on God's will: James 4:15 Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that." The future is uncertain to all of us, but I need not be paralyzed by this uncertainty. The adoption process is full of uncertainty, we are always waiting for an update (literally we are today while I write this). While waiting, we need to put our plans in the hands of God. Then...LEAVE them there. Every time I take them back, I am paralyzed again.

The timing really was perfect in reading these encouraging words from James. There are have been so many other encouraging times during this wait and I will end this post with one last one. We had our adoption garage sale on April 12. It was our only fundraiser for funds toward our journey. We started a couple of weeks prior and advertised to friends and family that we were holding the sale and asked for any donations of goods. We were in awe of the donations that poured in over the following weeks, including some from friends of friends, people we have never met! We could not walk in our garage and our house was a total disaster for such a great reason! Friends also contributed yummy baked goods for a bake sale the kids held in the yard during the garage sale (which took up 2 full driveways). We woke up at 4:30 and it took over 2 hours to get everything out. We had so many giving family and friends helping us that day and even had some surprise family members drive many hours to support us just for that day. The weather was beautiful and the sale lasted until 4pm. We even had things left over that we donated. Our monetary goal was to make enough for 1 plane ticket to Ethiopia, which we are estimating about $1,800. From the things we sold right before and during the sale we made about $3,000! A huge thank you to everyone who helped and prayed for our fundraiser. We are ready to buy those tickets! Every little thing gonna be all right!

MELISSA

Referral!!!!

I spent a minute here trying to think of what I should make the title of this post, but the obvious is REFERRAL!!! We have waited almost 4 years to write and shout that news!!!! Our whole family is so thrilled to announce that we has been so very blessed with a referral of 2 precious brothers from Ethiopia aged 4 and 6 (when they come home). We are already in love and I keep looking at their pictures in amazement and excitement that we actually get to love and add these sweet boys to our family. Their eyes and smiles are so beautiful!

Just a few posts ago, on Christmas Eve, I referenced moments where we show up at one place and end up at a place even more beautiful than expected. God placed a burning desire in our hearts long ago to add to our family by adoption and we showed up but He wrote the story. We are giving so much praise to Him for writing this story more beautiful than we could have even imagined. There have been many, many (hate to admit this!) times during this journey that I tried to take it over, to beg and plead that NOW was the time, that a particular place was the place. I am so glad that I am not the author of my story.

Over the next 6 months or so we need your prayers and support. Major prayers that our boys are healthy, safe and happy while they wait for us. Please also pray for our (especially Melissa ha ha!!!) emotional well being while we wait to be united with them. I always thought the hardest part of the journey was waiting for our referral, but if the past 10 days were any indication, the hardest part may be ahead. It is a strange feeling that part of our family is many, many miles away and we can't tell them that we love them and that we will be coming as soon as possible, we can't tell them that their future is so bright and that they have the most kind hearted sister and brother waiting for them here, waiting to play with them and show them so much. We respect the steps that both governments require us to go through next and will try to calmly fill out the mountain of paperwork and smile. Since I completely trust our agency, I have decided on a somewhat radical change to remove myself from facebook and most social media until we bring the boys home. I need my mind to be filled with God's spirit and hope and not with fear. I will know any facts I need to know and will be busy planning for our family of six. I will miss the support and camaraderie with fellow adopting moms and will miss celebrating with them when they get a referral or meet their children. I know I will still be e-mailing with some, enjoying their blog updates and this is just a short, temporary break. I had convinced myself that it was smart to be informed on everything, but my little heart literally cannot handle the way it felt when I heard about the rumors and negativity last month, especially not now when I am attached to our boys. I also cannot wait to dive into some books and devotionals I have been putting aside. I am counting on forming a positive habit I needed in my life anyway.

Thank you for sharing in our joy and we will continue with updates. More details to come about travel plans (2 trips ahead). We are super excited to travel and experience the culture of Ethiopia!

MELISSA

Scared to Stand Up

#20! Pretty cool! It was be a lot cooler if the past week hadn't been like riding a wave. I am going to use an analogy here from my husband's favorite sport. I have tried surfing only a couple of times, including the day we got engaged (that was in January in a full wet suit!). Each time I try, even this past summer, I mostly stay on my knees, scared to stand up. You see, if I stand up, I feel like I have lost control and the board is going to slip right out from under me, sending me face down in the water.

Our adoption has been just like this for me. When we first decided to adopt from Colombia, I was cautiously excited. There were some minor set backs and adjustments in waiting time, but as we got further into the process, I started to gain more confidence and felt comfortable letting go. Through 2 years of waiting for a referral, I rode that wave gaining faith and trust. When, due to in-country law changes, we had a huge wipe out and I was completely crushed. I still felt God had me in a better place than when we started, but everything was so hard and a wall was built around my heart.

Although that wall is still up, it has been exciting with Ethiopia and I have felt a peace about it. That is, until about a week ago...our first big challenge with Ethiopia. I don't want to further exacerbate potential rumors, so I will only say that there are discussions in Ethiopia about orphan care options and this can mean many things, some negative for all parties and some positive. Obviously negative changes would include stopping foreign adoption. I am 110% for any positive reforms that could be made in Ethiopia to keep families together. But, every child deserves a loving family now. Adoption, foreign or domestic, is an excellent loving option. Keeping orphans in orphanages or in long term care situations that are unhealthy is not an option. There are waiting families available right now to love and care for these children. I am aware that there is abuse in the adoption process and I am very supportive of changes that can mitigate this and for changes that ultimately keep children in their country of birth in loving care. I am praying for that answer. Not extreme, fast, changes that hurt in the short and long run a lot of people, especially the children we are trying to protect.

So, it has been a long week with the familiar ache and worry. I pray that God will fill that hole and prayers are super appreciated. Primarily big prayers for Ethiopian officials making these important decisions. And some small prayers for a Mom who is scared to stand up again.

P.S. That furry cutie in the picture is an addition that joined us in November. She was named after this journey - Addis :)

MELISSA